Weblog

Wednesday, 07 October 2009

  • no tittle

    exams is like in 2 weeks time and im such a big time procrastinator.even if it means to pay a bill, to do something important i will drag drag drag and i will end up regretting! what the world right! i dud know why but i think i have one illness. my primary school teacher, Cikgu Rumini always call it "PENYAKIT M"!! M for Malas. die. this is one kind of illness difficult to get rid! i am so sad! why am i soooo lazy!!!

    yesterday i went running with baby. i couldnt believe i could run more than i could thought of. honestly when we started running i told him to go ahead and not to wait for me. but yeay!! somebody decided to be sweet and motivates me..

    eh, my life is sooo boring now. no excitement at all. and i havent been to the movies for the longest time eva! now that baby is working no more $6 movies if im gg with him.. so i think i shd go to the movies on my own!honestly i miss those sentosa days, movie marathons, gym-ing almost on every morning, BTP, the peace place at khatib, pasir ris library and a long list i could mention. i just realize that we no longer spend any time on our own or quality time this year! its so rare. hmph.. or have we already step into the phase where "i know you are there" kind of tingy thus no dates! i havent been on a date for soooo long. not even on my bday! i dud know what im caught up with but i know im always busy with nothing. that makes me so pissed off!yes.. my life is so boring. to add things, my mum is constantly bugging or irritating me with every little thing!!! urghhhhh... at times i feel like running away from home and yet i think, at this age??? god...

    i guess i better start opening up all my books, wear my specs and start studying! i shdnt be complacent. but i always feel i work best under pressure and i perform suprisingly excellent. ah no... i better start studying and end my papers well!!

    yes. i know my life is boring. i am disgusted at it myself!

Friday, 02 October 2009

  • love is............

    agar dapat melukiskan hasratku, kekasihku,

    taruh bibir-mu seperti bintang di langit kata-katamu,

    ciuman dalam malam yang hidup,

    dan deras lenganmu memeluk daku,

    seperti suatu nyala bertanda kemenangan,

    mimpiku pun berada dalam,

    benderang abadi....

    -ayat-ayat cinta



    adakalanya, memang diri ini berperasaan takut. sesungguhnya jika apa yang diinginkan tidak tersampai, kerana sememangnya, hanya Tuhan sahaja yang menentukan sesuatu. manusia hanya merancang. hati ini setiap hari berdegak-degup ketakutan. pintu hidayah hanya Allah sahaja yang dapat menentukan. dan apakah ertinya jika seseorang itu memeluk agama ini tetapi jika tidak ikhlas? dan keikhlasan hati itu hanya dirinya mengetahui.. susah kan??? pening kepala...

    it's not that im thinking twice now... im happy where we are now! at least situations are more clearer.. i really hope he meant what he says... soon.. but everything is so difficult. to start with i am difficult. infact i shd say he put in 200% into this relationship and i couldn't ask for more. everything i beam with happiness. even if we were to fight, it's cuz of me! differences! differences! differences!! its so difficult!!!!!! honestly, sometimes i feel i lose my strength and the battle.but he will pull me up. the way he talks things and assuarances! ahhhh is that what i really need? i dud knw. what i want is confirmation.

    i always say, i dun believe in coincidences... things happen for a reason. lately, i analyze things through and i feel blessed and grateful that Allah guide me through every single step.not that im an all pious person, but i believe that Allah is there. and HE knows. i can pray and dua... i hope through my duas, i get what i want. and for some reason today i feel stronger knowing that i will do anything to find my way out of this maze and for my happiness. whatever it takes......

Sunday, 13 September 2009

  • hello again

    been a long long time since i blog. honestly, life have been pretty fast moving! like i wish there are more than 24hrs a day. lots of stuffs are being held up and i am a big time procrastinator!

    i don't know where to start exactly. am having a love hate relationship with life. as usual right? maybe i am never contented with anythin. it's not that i have high expections, just that im never contented!!! even with him. i always feel bad cuz i never learnt!!! i don't want history to repeat again. i will try to change. oh man!!

    well, maybe i be back blogging again..gotta hibernate b4 JB! 

Sunday, 02 August 2009

  • to you

    for some reason i want to be alone. I'm sorry that I hurt you. Making you suffer and well some irresponsibly. and do you think i will love you any lesser? it's up to you. and im sure you knw this is meant for. a sincere apology from me.

Sunday, 12 July 2009

  • poem

    Touched By An Angel

    We, unaccustomed to courage
    exiles from delight
    live coiled in shells of loneliness
    until love leaves its high holy temple
    and comes into our sight
    to liberate us into life.

    Love arrives
    and in its train come ecstasies
    old memories of pleasure
    ancient histories of pain.
    Yet if we are bold,
    love strikes away the chains of fear
    from our souls.

    We are weaned from our timidity
    In the flush of love's light
    we dare be brave
    And suddenly we see
    that love costs all we are
    and will ever be.
    Yet it is only love
    which sets us free

    ~Maya Angelou